London, UK

It’s only been in the last couple of years that I have noticed the pattern of my mental health is perhaps different than those around me. For example, the majority of my days are very high days but they also come with a few very low days. I’m not sure that there is a middle ground really.

I overheard someone once say about their sister that “it’s like living with someone who is mentally ill… she is always up and down”. At this moment, I realised that maybe that what I was experiencing wasn’t the norm.

My low days tend to be brought on by other people around me, for example, if someone is in a bad mood and takes it out on me, I’ll internalise that and think I’ve done something wrong. The bad days that last for a while tend to be from the feeling that I am overwhelmed with needing to get myself on the right path with my life (for example with my career, etc.).

I’ve never sought out professional help because I’ve always thought it wasn’t something I should spend my money on. Perhaps it’s time I should.

I am currently writing this during a low period, luckily I know that “the sun will shine again” so to speak. So for now, I will keep that in mind and tap into the familiar tools to help pull me out of the slump: getting exercise in nature.